


Kind of funny, kind of sad (I find it)

by darkersky



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-25
Updated: 2013-11-25
Packaged: 2018-01-02 15:07:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1058241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkersky/pseuds/darkersky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"Name's Mills, Henry Mills."</i>
</p><p>The realization of one Henry Mills of the shocking fact that his mother is the Evil Queen from that book that his teacher gave him: a story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kind of funny, kind of sad (I find it)

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when they give us photos of baby Henry. I can't stop writing stuff about Henry Mills. (Actually I just can't stop writing stuff in general. Anyone willing to volunteer to do some actual work for me? Some grading and stuff? I'll provide the red pens because I have dozens. And I have even more red pen caps without the pens. Actually, I'm pretty sure my bag generates pen caps. It's the only explanation.)

 

 

"Prince Henry of the house of Mills," he says and points the stick at a parked car

The car is a dragon. The stick is a sword. He lives in a castle.

The dragon attacks and he has to take a few steps back, and the back of his shirt gets stuck on a nail protruding from the castle.

One movement, a horrible sound, and the car is a car, the stick is a stick and the castle is just a stupid play castle.

 

***

 

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Your shirt is torn. Are you hurt?"

"No."

"Were you playing at the old playground again? I've told you that place is dangerous."

"No. I was... somewhere else."

"Henry, do you know what can happen when you get stung by a rusty nail?"

"No?"

"Oh, Henry, just... Try to be more careful, alright?"

"Okay."

"You promise?"

"I promise, mom."

 

***

  

He wants to try to be more careful, but being careful is so boring.

There's a picture of a knight, some ad, that he cut from a magazine from 1983 that he once found on a park bench. It's a nice picture.

"Sir Henry," he whispers. "Sir Henry of Storybrooke."

He wishes he had a real sword.

  

***

 

"This is very nice, Henry," Miss Blanchard says.

"Thanks," he says, because Miss Blanchard is always very nice, too, even though the drawing of the car is a little stupid. (That's the peace sign, not Mercedes, he's pretty sure, but that's something he's going to have to check later.)

"You are so creative. Does your mother tell you that often enough?"

"Yeah." She does. But he saw a documentary (in secret, one Saturday, when his mom was in one of those long meetings) where a woman said, "I always wondered where I got that from and when I finally met my birth parents, it all made sense," and he thinks that that may be why his mom keeps buying him art supplies, but they don't really talk about it.

  

***

  

Somehow the small corner shop always has the newest issues of all his favorite comics, but otherwise it's very hard to find stuff to read in Storybrooke.

He is getting bored with the books in the school library. The books are old and the Famous Five keep eating weird stuff. Tongue? Really? Who eats tongue? Or tinned stuff.

Canned foods are bad for you. Why? Because the aluminum gets into the food. Is that poison? Yes, Henry, it can be poisonous. That's why we don't buy canned things.

Usually he doesn't mind being alone, he's used to it, but one Saturday he really wants his mom to stay at home instead of going to that meeting, because they gave a storm warning, and he doesn't like storms, so after she leaves, he runs to the store and buys a can of peach slices in grape juice.

He eats the whole canful and he lies down and waits.

And then his heart starts to beat very fast, because no, he doesn't want to die, no please, no.

He's so stupid. His mom keeps telling him how smart he is, and Miss Blanchard says the same thing, but no, he's so stupid.

When he hears the door open he runs downstairs. He runs downstairs and when his mom asks, "Henry? Is something wrong?"

Well, he doesn't know what to say so he just hugs her.

 

***

 

"When are they going to open the library?" he asks Miss Blanchard.

"I don't know, Henry. Soon, I hope."

"It's been closed forever," he says.

"Has it really? I hadn't noticed."

How could she not notice?

 

***

 

Miss Blanchard doesn't notice or remember stuff sometimes, but it may be because she's in love. He read it somewhere. That love makes people absent-minded.

Miss Blanchard is in love with John Doe.

(Is that his name? No, Henry, that's just something people call him because nobody knows his real name. Is he dead? No, he's... very much alive, but he's in a coma. What does that mean? It means that, sadly, he won't wake up. Why is Miss Blanchard in his room? I wouldn't know, dear. She keeps bringing him flowers. Does she now? Well, Miss Blanchard is of no sound mind. What does that mean? Nothing, sweetheart, nothing. Please, forget I said that.)

  

***

  

Once his mom stayed home on a Saturday.

He still doesn't know how he did it.

She was leaving, dressed in her this-is-very-important-I'm-sorry-Henry coat, and she said the stuff she always says. No TV. Don't leave the house. Only two cookies.

He had heard it so many times that he didn't even look up from his comic book when he said, "Yes, mom, I'll be good." 

That was all he said, and she stayed. It was strange, but nice.

  

***

  

He picks up a stick, points it at the tree, because the tree is a fugitive on the run. "Agent Mills, FBI, _freeze._ "

No. Not cool enough.

"Name's Mills, Henry Mills." The tree is a foreign agent. A hostile. (Is that a word? A hostile?)

No, too many syllables. Should be only one per name. Bond, James Bond. Mills, Henry Mills is not as cool.

He likes his name, though. It means that there have been others. Other Henrys and other Millses. Henry Senior. A good man. Died of a heart... thing. Mills is from, well, it's from mom, but it's also from mom's mom. She used to work at a mill. Then she got promoted. Promoted how? Upper management.

Wait.

Upper management? At a mill?

It sounds a little weird now that he's not five anymore.

Why would mom lie, though?

Nah.

"Name's Mills, Henry Mills." The tree is a foreign agent again.

Then it's a tree. Just a tree. Playing pretend is getting boring. He needs a real secret operation. Maybe some crime that he can solve. Like the Famous Five.

But nothing ever happens in Storybrooke. He's pretty sure even the Sheriff does nothing but play darts all day long. He has seen him.

  

***

  

What does it mean, though? When his mom said her mom is _gone_?

Is it the same as dead? Or does he have a grandmother somewhere and if he does, why don't they ever visit her?

  

***

  

He's never left town. One day he asked his mom if they could maybe go to Portland. Or at least to Bangor. She said she couldn't leave. Not now. She didn't have the time, sorry, Henry, running a town is a very time-consuming thing. Maybe some other time.

He knows from his mom's tone that there probably won't be another time.

Nobody ever leaves. Nobody new ever comes to town either.

"Are you from here?" he asks Miss Blanchard one day.

"I'm... What did you ask?"

"Were you born here? In Storybrooke?"

"No," she says. "No, I... don't think so."

"You don't know where you were born?"

"Nobody knows where they were born. Finish your birdhouse, Henry."

It's the fourth birdhouse he's built. It's getting stupid. There aren't even that many birds in Storybrooke.

  

***

 

"How was school?" his mom asks.

"School's boring," he says.

"Why is that?"

"It's always the same stuff," he says, and he realizes his mistake too late. He has made the same mistake before. You should learn from your mistakes.

"It's that... teacher of yours," his mom says and shakes her head. "I'll see if there's something I can do about that."

"No, mom, you don't have to."

"Yes, dear, yes I do. You should be able to have the education you deserve."

"No, mom, please." He doesn't want her to come to the school again. The previous time, after her visit and after they had finished for the day, Miss Blanchard was actually crying in an empty classroom, and he had left his pencil case on his desk again and returned to get it so that his mom wouldn't ask him why he keeps forgetting it, but when he saw Miss Blanchard crying, he quickly left, because it's embarrassing to see an adult cry.

But his mom has that look that tells him that she _will_ come to the school again. And maybe he will finally get to learn what happened after The Civil War, but Miss Blanchard will maybe cry again.

He's not sure if more American History is worth that.

 

***

 

"Is that something you wonder about?" Miss Blanchard asks.

"What?"

"Do you wonder about where you were born?"

"Not really," he says. He's not supposed to wonder. But he has been somewhere before he was in Storybrooke. Maybe Portland. Or at least Bangor. The thought doesn't make him happy, not like actually going somewhere would, because he's here now and he doesn't remember any other place. "Maybe sometimes," he says, because Miss Blanchard is very nice and these are the things he can't really say to his mom.

"It's okay to wonder, you know?"

But it's not.

  

***

 

He sees the clock tower from his window.

The clock never moves. Sometimes when he's so bored his skin starts to itch he stares at it and tries to move the hands with his mind.

Can time stop?

Maybe it has stopped.

  

***

  

"Henry," Miss Blanchard says one day. "Could you stay for a minute?"

"Yeah," he says.

They wait until all the faceless children leave and it's just them in the classroom.

"I have something for you," Miss Blanchard says.

"What is it?" he asks. He thinks it's a little strange that his teacher is giving him something, but it's nice, too.

"This," she says as she hands him a huge book. It looks old.

"What _is_ it?" he asks again.

"It's a book of fairytales."

"Where did you get this?" he asks because the library has been closed forever and there are no bookstores in Storybrooke. And nobody ever leaves.

"I... I'm not sure. I think I've had it for a while. But I thought of you when I came across it this morning."

"Thanks," he says. He's not sure what else he should say. It's a book of fairytales and he's almost ten and fairytales are for children. But it's from Miss Blanchard and he likes her.

"You can keep it," Miss Blanchard says. She smiles. "You are a special boy. You know that, right?"

He's not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. Isn't that what they call someone when they are, no, not retarded because that's a horrible word, but... something like that? But he knows he's not like the other kids in Storybrooke so he says, "I guess."

 

***

  

It's a book of fairytales and fairytales are for children, but it's a Saturday and his mom's not home, and there's nothing worth breaking the rules on TV, so.

The pictures are kind of cool. And everything happens a little differently than in other storybooks. For example, he never knew Snow White and Prince Charming had a baby.

They gave it away, though. It was for the best.

He reads the book right through twice.

When his mom comes home, he hides the book under his pillow again. He's not sure why he keeps hiding it, but he got the book from Miss Blanchard and his mom doesn't like Miss Blanchard (she won't admit it, but if she did like her, she wouldn't make her cry), and he doesn't want his mom to take the book away from him.

Because maybe she would.

And it feels like an important book, because Snow White and Prince Charming had a baby, but they gave it away to protect it.

It wasn't because they didn't want the baby. It was because it was for the best.

  

***

 

It's funny how Miss Blanchard actually kind of reminds him of Snow White in the book.

Snow White is in love with Prince Charming. Miss Blanchard is in love with John Doe. Does that make John Doe Prince Charming? 

The thought makes him smile. Maybe Miss Blanchard should just kiss John Doe and he would wake up?

Nah. It's silly.

  

***

  

He stares at the clock tower.

Could a curse stop time?

  

***

  

"You should finish your eggs."

"I'm not hungry."

"Is something bothering you, dear?" 

"Everything's boring."

His mom looks at him weirdly. Like she might cry. (She looks like that sometimes. Sometimes when she thinks he's asleep and he sneaks downstairs to get a glass of water and she's sitting in the study with a glass of something that's not water.) "I'm sorry, Henry. I'm so sorry." 

He doesn't get how it's her fault, though.

  

***

 

"Henry, this is Archie Hopper," his mom says.

"Hello, Henry," the man says. He has glasses and there's a Dalmatian curled up in a dog bed in one corner of the room.

"Hi," he says.

"That's Pongo," Archie says.

"Hi, Pongo," he says and the dog looks at him sleepily and wags his tail.

"Well, Henry, I'll pick you up after your session," his mom says.

"Wait. My session?"

"I... I think you should have a chat with Doctor Hopper," she says. She smiles, but it's not one of her happy smiles. Her hand is cool on his cheek.

"I agree with your mother. We should talk, Henry," Archie says. He's smiling, too.

Is that what it means when people say he's a special boy? That he's crazy?

 

***

  

"I'm not crazy," he says. 

"I don't think you are either," Archie says.

"Then why am I here?"

"Your mother is concerned. That's all."

"Why?"

"Well, why don't you tell me? Is something bothering you?"

"What did mom say?"

"I'd rather hear it from you."

"Nothing's bothering me."

  

***

  

"What did you think of Doctor Hopper?" his mom asks.

"He's nice." That's all he says because he's kind of angry with her.

  

***

 

"Did you do your homework already?" his mom asks.

"Yeah," he says. He did it. It's not a lie. It's just that it was the fifth day straight Miss Blanchard asked them to do the same math problems.

He did them five days ago.

"That's good, sweetheart," his mom says.

He doesn't say anything. He just waits until she leaves his room and then he takes the book from his backpack again.

  

***

 

It becomes kind of like a game. Finding people in the book.

Miss Blanchard is Snow White. John Doe is Prince Charming.

He's pretty sure Ruby from the diner could be Red Riding Hood. Rubies are red and she has a grandmother. (Ruby's very pretty. "I agree, but you are too young for her, dear," his mom once said.)

The Sheriff smiles strangely every time he says, "Madam Mayor," but he doesn't love her, so maybe he doesn't have a heart. He could be the Huntsman.

  

***

  

Archie is nice so one day he says, "I got this book from Miss Blanchard."

"What book?"

"Just a book."

 

***

  

"I think she could be in it."

"You think your teacher might be in a book?"

"No, I think she reminds me of someone in the book." 

"Who does she remind you of?"

"..."

"You can tell me. Remember, this is a safe place for any thoughts."

"Snow White. She reminds me of Snow White."

"Oh, that's..."

"Crazy?"

"No, it's... It's interesting. Can you tell me more about this book?"

  

***

  

"Maybe you should tell your mother about the book," Archie says.

"No."

"Why not?"

"She'd take it away."

"Would she really?"

"I don't know."

"You should tell her."

"Did you always tell your parents everything?"

Archie looks confused. "That's... We should talk about you, Henry."

"Did you?"

"Look, Henry. Lying is wrong. I'm sure you know that."

"Yeah." He does. He does know it.

Archie kind of reminds him of Jiminy Cricket. Yep. That's definitely who he could be.

  

***

  

"I can't tell mom, because she doesn't like Miss Blanchard."

"Why would you think she doesn't like her?"

"She makes her cry. She comes to the school and yells at her."

"Oh, that's... Well, she probably shouldn't yell at your teacher, but maybe it's just because she cares about your education. Not all parents do, you know?"

"I guess." 

"Does she... does she ever make you cry?"

"No." Never. If he cries, she brushes the tears off with a cool thumb and asks if he wants some ice cream. Then she kisses his forehead.

 

***

 

Mister Gold is weird. Not weird like that guy Jefferson who sometimes stares at some of the girls ("Stay away from Jefferson," his mom always says to him. "He's not good company." And _duh_ , like he'd want Jefferson staring at him, too.), but just weird. He asks weird questions.

Like that one time when he was sitting in the hallway in front of his mom's office and she was in a meeting and Mister Gold walked by, but stopped and said, "Hello, Henry," and after saying a few normal things, asked, "Do you ever wonder about her?" 

"Who?"

"Your real mother."

"My mom's my real mother."

"Yes, of course. Of course she would say that."

"Who?"

"Regina. Of course she would say that."

 _Regina_. Of course he knows his mom's name isn't Mom but it's not something he would ever call her. It makes him dislike Mister Gold a little more, the fact that he sometimes keeps referring to her as Regina and not 'your mother' or 'your mom' like everyone else. 

But who in the book asks weird questions? He can't think of anyone. Maybe he's not in the book. Maybe his mom and Mister Gold are not in the book. Or is he?

Mister Gold is always asking him weird questions so one day when he sees him at town hall again, he decides to ask, because it might give him some clue, "What's your first name?"

Mister Gold smiles. It's a very strange smile, like he is very happy with himself for some reason. "Wouldn't you want to know, dearie."

"Yes, that's why I asked," he says. It's something he learned from his mom. That sometimes when people say stupid things, you say things back and they get embarrassed and it's not polite, but it's fun. (His mom can be pretty funny sometimes. Not always, but sometimes.)

"Well, keep asking questions," he says. He's still smiling. Then he walks away.

  

***

 

He's not in the book. He knows that. Why would he be? He's just Henry Mills. He's not in the book and his mom is not in the book and Mister Gold is not in the book.

Everyone else is in the book.

Could it be true? Could it be true if he just started believing in it? Because if it was true and if there was a curse then the curse could be broken. Time would move again. 

"Henry, this book... Maybe you should consider taking a break from it sometimes?"

"There's nothing else to do."

"How about a hobby?"

"A hobby?"

"Do you like sports?"

"No." He likes swords. But there's no fencing club in Storybrooke. There's nothing interesting in Storybrooke.

"There's always the stables. And the animal shelter. You like animals, don't you?"

Knights and princes ride horses so he asked his mom once. "My mom doesn't like horses. She says they are dangerous."

Archie takes off his glasses, shakes his head and sighs.

 

***

  

Clocks. He will need many. (He already has three alarm clocks. Two because he doesn't always wake up very easily and the third one is because he lost one of the two others once.)

Maybe if enough clocks move at the same time, time will move, too.

Maybe it's stupid, but he has to try.

  

***

  

His mom looks... concerned? "I think you'll be able to tell the time already."

"Yes, but I collect them."

"You collect clocks?"

"It's a hobby. Archie says I need one."

"Archie said that?"

"Yeah."

"Does that... does that make you happy? Collecting clocks?"

Happy? No. But if time moved again... "I guess."

 

***

  

The clocks move. Tick tock. 

Tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock.

It's very loud at night.

But no. Still 8:15.

  

***

  

Can a curse stop time? Can a curse make Miss Blanchard teach the same stuff all over again? Can a curse make everyone unhappy? Can a curse mean no one ever leaves?

Who cast the curse? Who is the Evil Queen?

 

***

  

"As we build our birdhouses, remember – what you’re making is a home, not a cage."

No.

NO.

NOT AGAIN. NOT THE BIRDHOUSE AGAIN.

A home, not a cage. It's all a cage and he's the bird.

"The bird is free and will do what it will."

No, it's not and no, it won't.

  

***

  

He skips school. He feels bad, but it's for scientific purposes. It's secret agent work. Miss Blanchard will understand later when he gets a job at NSA. Or MI6. Do they take Americans? 

He's biking so fast he's all out of breath after a while.

The town line is surprisingly far. Are there wild animals in the forest? Wolves?

Then he sees the sign. _Leaving Storybrooke._

The world is out there. Other towns.

His heart is still racing when he, very carefully, takes a few steps. 

One. Two. Three. Four. Over the line.

Nothing happens.

He's so disappointed he cries. He doesn't cry often.

  

***

  

It hits him that night when he's lying awake listening to the clocks, and the disappointment turns into a big grin.

A special boy. Is he special if he can leave? He has come from somewhere else, too.

He's not affected by the curse. Of course.

  

***

 

It's got to be true. The curse.

It's the only explanation.

But who cast the curse? And who's going to break it?

Maybe he's the only one who can find out.

  

***

  

"Henry?" his mom asks.

He's forgotten to listen again. "Yeah?"

"Do you want some dessert?"

"No, thanks." He's not hungry. He's never hungry these days.

"I made your favorite," his mom says. Apple turnover and ice cream. It's only now that he notices that she looks happy today.

Maybe she made Miss Blanchard cry again. She always looks happy on those days. First he thought nothing of it but then he realized it always happens.

And maybe if everyone wasn't so afraid of her, if she didn't make people cry, maybe then he would have actual friends who would come over and it wouldn't feel so much like time has stopped. Maybe then Miss Blanchard and Archie wouldn't be the only ones who actually want to talk to him. Snow White and Jiminy Cricket. It's kind of funny, but not in a good way.

His mom always makes Snow White cry. Why would anyone want to do that? Snow White is the good princess who's in love with the prince. Why would anyone want to hurt Snow White?

 

...

 

...

 

Wait.

 

...

 

...

 

No.

 

...

 

...

 

...

 

_No._

 

_NO._

 

_NO. NO. NO. NO. NO!_

"I don't like apples," he manages to say.

"Since when?" his mom asks, still smiling, looking surprised.

"I just don't like them anymore," he says. He can't say more.

He can't say more and his heart starts to beat very, very fast.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sure you will be able to figure out which song the title refers to. And when you do, well, just think – isn't that kind of the perfect theme song for Henry Mills pre-show?
> 
> And, also, haha, yes, I know this may have been kind of evil. And I'm sorry. I'm very, very sorry.
> 
> (By the way, in case you are interested, you can find more of my thoughts on Henry Mills and mothers here: http://darkness-in-the-sky.tumblr.com/post/67750926952/understanding-that-little-shit)


End file.
